


It's Raining Men

by GirlWithPurpleGlasses



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 03:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlWithPurpleGlasses/pseuds/GirlWithPurpleGlasses
Summary: The only way Regina "Reggie" George would ever get a man interested in her is if one fell into her lap. Well during the night of the 91st Academy Awards, she got her wish and Rami Malek fell off stage.





	1. Chapter 1

Reggie covers her eyes as the sun pushes back through the blinds in attempt to stay asleep. Sighing as her goal was in vain she sits up rubbing the crusties out of her eyes. She rubs her face then stops remembering what her assistant Bonnie, said about face rubbing and acquiring more acne. Reggie pulls the covers off as her feet hang off the bed she thinks ‘I need a bigger bed, this is ridiculous. Six- foot-five, and my dumb ass thought this bed would work. Spends some mouse money on a new bed.’ 

She stands cracking her neck, then shoulders, back and down to her toes, finishing with her knuckles. “ Guess that’s all for my glow stick impersonation.” Reggie says to herself.

She takes a deep breath and heads to the bathroom. She splashes some cold water on her face, an old trick she found out of a vintage magazine, if it was good enough for Marilyn, it’s good enough of for Reggie. Sniffing her hair,she decides to just spray it with some dry shampoo, besides unwashed hair is great for holding hair dos and Bonnie said she wanted to try something daring, and sophisticated, because for some reason that’s what people wear to the Oscars.  
As Reggie starts brushing her teeth she begins reciting a mantra that her assistant made up to help with depression and self-deprecation: “Mr. Rogers would be proud of the woman you grew up to be.” 

Reggie wipes off the extra toothpaste at the sides of her lips and continues with the morning routine until she’s in the kitchen searching for the green juices when the door to her home burst open. Bonnie is holding a duffel bag and a green juice. “Got the mean green juice.” 

There’s a loud bonk sound from the kitchen and then a soft “ Fuck”  
Reggie pulls herself out of the fridge rubbing her head. “So what’s the agenda for today.” She asks inserting the bendy straw into her drink. 

“Quick work out, pop in the shower, wash your hair, even if it doesn’t smell. I see the dry shampoo in your roots, get on some comfy clothes, meet Chris and Scott. Get glammed together. I’ll do your makeup, and hair. Your dress,shoes and jewelry are already at the hotel. And yes you can wear your glasses, contacts and you don’t mix. I’m still sorry about stabbing you in the eye.” Bonnie runs down without taking a breath in between. 

“Sounds good, but remember I don’t need to be super glammed up, I’m not handing out anything, or receiving.“ Reggie reminds her. 

“I know, but trust me. Everyone will be talking about you, tomorrow.” Bonnie takes away the green juice. “So get your butt in that antisocial home gym.”

“Honestly that scares and excites me.” Reggie runs down the stairs with Bonnie tying to keep pace with the modern Amazonian. 

Reggie stretches and then sits on the bench press bench. “Spot me.” She sees the confusion on Bonnie’s face,” Just make sure i don’t die with this bar on top of me.”

Bonnie watches and makes sure Reggie doesn’t drop it. “So you know how fans call the Chris’s and other costars, “Beef cakes”?” 

“Yeah.” Reggie looks confused as she puts down the bar and wipes her face. 

“I think you’re at that level of muscles.” Bonnie pokes her arm. 

“ I don’t think women are beef cakes.” Reggie wipes off her hands, one finger at a time. 

“It’s 2019. You are the finest beef cake, like the cows that get massages before slaughtered.” Bonnie reassures. 

“ I’m pretty sure I’m like spam, or bologna. “ Reggie shakes her head taking down her sweaty ponytail. 

“Some people like spam and bologna, especially Mr.Right.” Bonnie not so subtly hints at. 

“Listen Bonnie, I appreciate it but dating really hasn’t been the priority right now. Filming, and talking to fans, and unfortunately networking, those are my priorities for now.” Reggie pats down the rest of herself before leaving the room. 

“ Wash your hair! I want to curl it!” Bonnie yells up the stairs as she walks up the stairs thinking about what Reggie said. 

Reggie jumps into the shower and quickly lathers up her hair removing the layers of dry shampoo. ‘Bonnie’s right though. I’ve been doing a lot of my now priorities. I mean filming back to back, without a real break. That’s not healthy for anyone’s social life.’ 

She leaves the shower wearing a fluffy pink robe, a gift from Johnny,one of her co-stars. It was meant to be a gag-gift because in the film their characters are married and have matching everything. Reggie takes a few minutes to dry her short hair. It made sense to cut it due to the heat under thick She-Hulk wig. She might have also passed out during filming because of her old haircut. 

Reggie changes into grey sweatpants, an old light blue shirt with charcoal stains due to late night drawing sessions, and a pair of black crocs. 

Bonnie eyes her up and down, “ I’m glad I picked out your dress.”

“It has to do with She-Hulk doesn’t it?” Reggie guesses. 

“Do you want a hint?” Bonnie asks. 

“Sure.” Reggie follows her to the car. 

“Bohemian Rhapsody might be taking home the Oscars but you are the real queen.” Bonnie starts the car. 

“Isn’t there a movie about an actual Queen though?” Reggie questions as the car quickly pulls out of the driveway. 

“No one saw that movie, okay. You’re the Queen of tonight. Take the compliment.” Bonnie insists as she pulls into traffic and the ride continues to the swanky hotel near the Dolby Theater. 

Reggie pulls on a pair of oversized sunglasses as she takes her similar pair of regular glasses off. “Do you think I’ll need the baseball cap?” 

“No, no one knows you’re invited to the Oscars besides me, and Sturgeon.” Bonnie says sliding out of the car looking around. The coast is clear. No screaming fans, or annoying paparazzi. 

“Bless that little British crumpet. Any rumors on the after parties?” Reggie climbs out looking like one of the many clowns in a circus car. 

“Madonna is throwing one. He’s working on the details.” Bonnie holds the door open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's two Queen Songs referenced. Somebody to love and Crazy little thing called love.

Chris runs a few quick swipes of deodorant under his arms.and tosses it at Scott.  
“So is Reggie on the way?” He asks.  
“Got the text from Bon, says Reggie is going to be the Queen of the Oscars.” Scott uses the deodorant. 

“Should we be scared or excited?” Chris asks. 

 

A quick succession of knocks interrupts the conversation. Reggie slips in the door pulling in Bonnie, kicking off her crocs.  
“Get comfy.” Scott kicks her croc across the room.  
“Those are my formal crocs.” Reggie flops onto a makeup chair. 

Bonnie pulls out several bags of hair products and makeup, the dress hangs in a special bag in the doorframe. 

“So I think we should do big hollywood curls, minimal eye makeup, and bold dark lips.” She suggests. 

Reggie takes a sip of her water nodding “ Sure, you’re kinda the closest to a professional I’ve got.” 

“You are going to look great.” Scott reaffirms. 

She gives Scott a classic eye roll as Bonnie turns on music to beginning curling Reggie’s hair. 

“Too great, in fact, what’s the plan if you find a guy to take home.” Chris asks searching through Bonnie’s music choices settling on Queen, since he saw Bohemian Rhapsody last week. 

Reggie raises an eyebrow,” I’m only going because you’re presenting.” 

“Oh come on, have some fun. You’re done filming for the year. Might find a guy tonight. It could happen.” Chris points out as the beginning of Somebody to Love plays. 

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can barely stand on my feet  
(take a look at yourself)  
Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord, what you're doing to me

Bonnie moves on to the front sections of Reggie’s hair as she hums along the song. She thinks about what Chris is saying and then what Bonnie said earlier. 

“Honestly Chris, the only way I’m going to find a guy is if one falls into my arms.” Reggie laughs. (Oh If only she knew)

“ I think we need some heavenly intervention.” Scott puts his hands together in prayer. 

Chris and Reggie shake their heads at him. 

Scott continues “Mr. Mercury, Freddie, if you’re not busy petting all the cats in heaven, could you to quote your song, find her somebody, anybody to love, and once you found him just like throw him at Reggie as hard as you can.” 

Anybody, anywhere, anybody, find me somebody to love  
Love, love, love, love  
Find me, find me, find me, yeah 

Chris puts his hands together too, “Don’t throw him, just lightly push him. Maybe he’s on a curb of the street as they’re walking past eachother.” 

“Or on stage.” Scott finishes.

The song quiets until the end. 

“Thanks, Scott, I’m sure that will help.” Reggie softly smiles as her favorite Queen song starts, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. 

“Dress time.” Bonnie squeals grabbing Reggie and pushing her into the bathroom. “Be careful of the hair. And then we have to put on your face.” 

“I would never want to go on without a face.” Reggie says sarcastically as she gets in the dress. The emerald dress hugs every curve and shows off her cleavage more than she was expecting. 

The rustling of the fabric stops and Bonnie throws open the door. “You looks so pretty, also it shows off the gun show.” 

“Lucky, our gun shows are closed for the evening.” Chris says.

“I’m glad you’re wearing something looser than smedium.” Reggie turns to Bonnie,” Are you sure about this dress? It’s a little…” 

“Little what?” Bonnie asks.

“My-” Reggie gestures to her chest. She looks towards Chris and Scott for help explaining. 

“She’s busty and thinks the dress might add to that.” Chris explains before Scott takes over. 

“I don’t think it’s the dress, Reggie, and I have no sexual attraction to you, so I’m going to tell you this. You’ve always had large tits.” Scott says the obvious trying not to laugh. 

“Scott, I know that.” Reggie puts on the fake fur shawl. “The world knows that. I’m just saying this is the most exposed I’ve ever been.” 

Bonnie gives two thumbs up and sympathetic hug while whispering “ Next oscars you can pick the dress.” 

“Next oscars?” Reggie asks.

“There will be next oscars.” Bonnie reassures gently pushing her back into the makeup chair. 

“I like your confidence.” Reggie closes her eyes for the makeup session to begin. 

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip  
And get on my track's  
Take a back seat, hitch-hike  
And take a long ride on my motorbike  
Until I'm ready  
Crazy little thing called love

 

“Has Sturgeon found all the parties.” Reggie asks. 

“The details don’t normally become clear the ceremony ends. But he has many contacts. He has you spending time at around ten parties, a little under an hour at each. Both of us will be there. I have your party flats and bandaids waiting.” Bonnie says going professional. 

“And after.” Reggie looks up as Bonnie applies the eyeliner. 

“You’re free to do whatever you want.” Bonnie answers.

“ I meant like getting McDonalds.” Reggie laughs.

Bonnie stops with the eyeliner laughing,” Yes you can have McDonalds.” 

“Lucky.” Chris mopes. 

“Yup, super lucky with this one.” Reggie pats her head as Bonnie is concentrating on not stabbing her with mascara. 

Bonnie finishes the makeup and hands her glasses back. 

“Yay I can see again.” Reggie claps before standing up.

She slips her feet into the black flats Bonnie packed and made her break in, so they would be more comfortable. 

No going back, Reggie thinks to herself, as Chris tucks one arm around hers. Scott on the other side. 

“Ready Reggie?” Chris and Scott ask before opening the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I understand some don't like RPF and that's okay. Please give feedback


End file.
